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Saturday, July 9, 2016

Breastfeeding in Public

I am going to take my life in my hands here, and talk about a subject which is very controversial. That is the subject of breastfeeding a child in public.

I believe this God-given ability has become a means of rebellion rather than what it is meant to be, a natural means of sustenance for a baby. You might ask why I would say that. I say that, because one of the things that this blog is about is consideration and manners, and what this issue has devolved into is crudity and exhibitionism.

I believe that a woman should be able to breastfeed her child. I breastfed both of mine. What I do not believe is that a woman has the right to offend people in the manner in which she does it. It requires some thought and sometimes work, to be thoughtful and sensitive of others. Goodness knows our country with all its political correctness (that has gotten out of hand) is all about not offending others, but this seems to be a one-sided issue, as most political correctness is. What I have observed is that it is really about one group of people complaining about how no one should offend them, while they feel they have every right to offend everyone else. It has become a very unequal issue. Courtesy is a two-way street.

While I have noticed that the younger generation of women, especially, have no modesty about their bodies (you can find nude pictures of everyday people on the internet by the millions). The clothing they wear is deliberately designed to expose and accentuate the very parts of their bodies which should be kept under wraps. Then they complain that men are treating them as sexual objects. Well what do you young women expect? It is a well-known fact that men are sexually stimulated by sight. They do not have to care about the woman to be aroused. That is one of the great differences between men and women and to ignore that difference is merely showing stubbornness and ignorance.

My sons, who are in their late twenties, are very embarrassed by seeing a woman drop her blouse (not discreetly move a piece of it aside, but literally drop her blouse to fully expose her bosoms as a great many of the young mothers seem to be doing) to nurse her child. A woman's engorged breasts are one of the most sexual turn-ons a man can see. They do not see a Madonna nursing the baby Jesus, they see a couple of really large, sexually stimulating breasts. The fact that a baby is attached to them does not negate the sexual appreciation of them. Whether a man wants to admit it or not (and many will not admit to it, because they don't want to be accused of being a pervert by these same women) all men (unless they are gay) are turned on by naked breasts, especially big, bouncy ones, which is how a breast full of milk looks. To try to shame a man into denying his natural inclinations is not going to change the fact of what is. It merely is an excuse given by immodest and inconsiderate women to have the opportunity to expose themselves under the guise of a legitimate reason. And yes, I am saying that these young women are using nursing as an excuse to expose themselves without having to feel guilt about wanting to be publicly naked. It turns them on. There is a reason for this.

As mentioned above, this younger generation seems to be obsessed with nudity and exposing themselves. I believe it is a result of society making girls believe that unless they are shapely, gorgeous, and willing to expose their bodies, they are not desirable. I do not entirely blame the girls for their subconscious and sometimes conscious attitude. I think society and the broken relationships of the family, with girls not having the father figures they need to give them the self-worth they should have, has caused this dysfunctional mentality in our young women. They desire to be desirable, and showing off their bodies is one way that our society has convinced them that this can be achieved. However, many young women do have enough modesty that they would not just expose themselves without a good reason. Breastfeeding gives them that reason. Add to that the fact that when nursing, hormones are released that give a woman an intense sexual feeling, it makes her extremely vulnerable to the seductive idea of exposing herself to enhance that feeling that nursing releases in her body.

While I would not deny a woman the right to nurse in public, for the sake of not making men, who would rather not feel sexual attraction to a woman they might not even know, and for the feelings of people for whom modesty is a serious issue, it behooves young mothers to nurse their baby discreetly. This means wearing garments that allow one to nurse without having to completely disrobe down to the waist. It means taking a light piece of cloth or baby blanket and covering your breast. It means turning your chair in such a way that you are putting your breast out of immediate view to those around you. It means go into another room in someone elses house if there is no alternative or a more private area if available. It means, God forbid, that sometimes you may need to pump out and take a bottle before you go somewhere, because it would just be inappropriate to whip out a breast at that particular situation. And yes, there are times when pulling out your fully exposed naked breast is inappropriate, whether your baby is hungry or not. Think ahead. Do not be so lazy that you do not consider the feelings of others. Not every place is La Leche League and wants you to be pulling your breast out for all to see.

I realize I may come across as harsh, but while these young women scream and kick about their rights, they are completely ignoring the rights of others. Rights are a two way street. Sometimes we have to give up or compromise our rights for the sake of courtesy. Courtesy is what makes the difference between a barbaric society and a cultured one. Ours is currently on the downslide to a barbaric one, because while everyone is consumed with their own rights, they ignore the rights of others. Courtesy says that I will compromise or forego my right for the sake of keeping a comfortable atmosphere for all around me. When everyone takes this attitude, then people get along. When some people insist upon their rights to the exclusion of others sensibilities and rights, that is when conflict begins, and society breaks down.

I will not accept the excuses given by so many young women about the difficulties involved in not being allowed to expose themselves whenever and wherever they want. I successfully breastfed two children over the course of several years and never had to make someone else feel uncomfortable. I did not have to pump out all that often either. It takes some forethought and planning at times, but it is not impossible. It is called courtesy and modesty. Please young ladies, have some. Be discreet.

I have often used the comparison, to the jeers of young women who disagree, when I ask them if they would be comfortable having a man pull out his penis and urinate in front of them. I am told this is not the same thing. Well, yes, actually it is. He is using what is normally considered a sexual part of his body for a natural function of the body. Just as a woman uses a part of her body that is normally considered a part of her sexual anatomy for a natural body function. The only difference is in their inability to accept the truth that these are basically the same situations. Both have to do with a sexual part of the body being used in a non-sexual way to take care of the body's nutritional needs. One is to excrete food for another person, the other is to excrete the food which the body could not use or process. So if you do not want a man exposing himself to excrete urine, the final product of having eaten, then realize that some people do not want to see you expose your breasts to excrete milk, the initial product for eating for your baby.

Now if you ask me, since we supply places for people to urinate, do I not think we need to provide places for women to nurse, I would respond with a resounding "yes." However I do not think that the way to make this occur is to take the path of offending people in the process. I think doing something that is more productive in its proactive stance would be far more courteous and intelligent. Find ways to create these places for other women. Do something that will improve the situation, not cause division. Just as handicap stalls were added to bathrooms, I think a separate lounge area with a children's table and chairs for other children and rocking chairs for nursing mothers near the restroom facilities for convenience of dealing with diapers and such (and also because they generally stick the restrooms in an out of the way, quiet area which would be good for the babies) should be incorporated into all large public facilities such as malls. For small places like restaurants or small stores, maybe a small area separate from, but within the main entrance to the women's bathroom would be a way to handle the situation. I have seen public restrooms like this, with a sitting area with couches outside the bathroom stall area, but still within the entrance to the bathroom. It was for women who felt faint, wanted to fix their garments, do makeup touch ups, etc. It would certainly solve the problem in my mind, if women would avail themselves of it, were it provided. I am also sure there are those who will still want to flex their "rights" regardless.

In closing I ask that young mothers please stop and consider what they are teaching their children. Are you teaching them to do what they want regardless of whether they are being courteous to others, by demanding what they believe to be their rights at that cost, or are you going to teach them to respect the feelings of others and learn to compromise and even maybe sacrifice in order to maintain a comfortable atmosphere for all. If everyone took the latter approach, just think of how the world would get along. Everybody would be compromising and sacrificing to make everyone else comfortable and so everyone would win.