Theme Ideas for Afternoon Teas

One of the fun things about a Tea is having a theme.  Naturally if the Tea is in honor of an occasion, that is the Theme - i.e. a bridal or baby shower, a birthday, a retirement, etc.  But even then you can further refine the theme, for instance do you know the sex of the baby?  If it's a girl, you may choose to have everything pink, or if a boy all things blue.  That can include the food.  

Other ideas for themes can fall into many categories.  Some suggestions are following:

The Rules of Etiquette Regarding an Afternoon Tea

One of the newest ways of entertaining for showers, parties, business meetings, and just friendly gatherings is to have an Afternoon Tea.  Many people find themselves at a loss to know exactly what the proper etiquette or attire is to attend one of these events.  Naturally the reason for the event will dictate attire, but the rules regarding the etiquette should be the same no matter what the reason for the Tea.  

The first rule is dependent upon the situation. If it is a gathering where everyone knows each other, this rule is irrelevant.  That is because the first rule is to introduce yourself to other attendees.  Tea is a communal experience and therefore it requires that you meet at least some of the other people in attendance.  In a large gathering that is obviously not practical, but you should go up to people, introduce yourself, and unless they have their hands full of teacups and plates, you should shake hands.  If you do not know what to use as a conversation starter, you can always talk about the Tea party itself as an ice breaker.  Some subjects to avoid are the usual politics, religion, and controversial subjects.  You should also never ask a person what they "do."  Nor should you ask personal questions.  You can ask about hobbies, what books they have recently read, what movies they have seen, what sports they may enjoy or follow - things of that nature. A helpful hint to remembering someone's name is to try to repeat it a few times by inserting it into your conversation as you are speaking to the person.  Another memory device is to associate something about the person with the name.  It may take a couple of steps to make the association, but you will be surprised how helpful it will be.

The Proper Attire for a Tea Party and Other Occasions

The one things that seems to be predominant throughout all of America is that people do not know how to dress up for occasions anymore.  I have been to the ballet and the opera and have seen people come in jeans.  I am appalled.  What is acceptable at a movie is not acceptable at the Metropolitan Opera.  I have not been to Europe, but from some friends that have been, I understand that at least in some countries people wear gowns and tuxedos to these concerts, and rightfully so for they are formal affairs.  Just as Americans have lost all respect for each other in the way of courtesy, manners, and etiquette, so we too have lost all sense of appropriate attire.  That should not be surprising, I suppose, as the two really do go hand in hand.

As one of the main subjects of this blog is Tea Parties, I will mainly address this area of attire.  Much of your decision as to what to wear should come from common sense as to what you will be encountering in the type of event you are attending.  There tend to be a few different categories of Tea Parties - Formal, informal, business, and outdoor.


"Formal" Afternoon Teas (in tea rooms, for showers, etc.) would require dressier types of clothes.  For men a suit is the proper attire. For women a dress is definitely preferred, but it must not be a miniskirt.  The idea is to strive for elegance.  Knee length to ankles are the style dresses that are acceptable.  A dressy pantsuit (not business style) is also acceptable, but you are also striving for femininity, so dresses are more appealing for that purpose.  Hats are not only a nice touch, they really are indispensable for having the real Tea experience, and essential for garden teas.  Some tea rooms have hats which they keep for guests to wear, but personally I do not care to put a hat on my head that has been on dozens or possibly hundreds of other women's heads. 

How to Make a Perfect and Proper Cup of Tea

Anyone can microwave a cup of hot water and throw in a tea bag, but do you have any idea of the difference between a cup of tea made that way and a "properly" made cup of tea?  It is quite remarkable.  Once you taste the difference, you will never want to go back.  This was brought home to me in a unique way.  I was hosting an Afternoon Tea and giving a lecture on the "Fine Art of Afternoon Tea."  Naturally as this was all about experiencing a real English Afternoon Tea, I had done my best to offer exactly that.  While the loose tea I used to make the tea was not the most expensive imported tea in the world, it was still a good quality loose tea.  During and after the Tea it was not the food that was being remarked on, but the quality of the tea they were drinking. Some had never tasted tea of this quality before.  Now over a year later, someone just remarked to me the other day that they still remember those cups of tea that they had at my party.  Truly there is nothing quite so good as a properly made cup of tea.

So, how do you make a proper cup of tea?  It really is not that hard.  The first thing you need to do is purchase some loose tea. Buying tea straight from a distributor of estate tea is obviously the best you can get, but it is expensive. For beginners I would recommend seeing if your local supermarket has some. I know that Lipton puts out a loose tea and Walmarts carries it.  

Why Are Courtesy and Etiquette Important?

In today's society there has been a complete breakdown in politeness, manners, courtesy, and etiquette.   What is the difference between all of these words?  Here are some definitions to help.

Customs – a practice followed by a people of a particular group or region.

Manners- the prevailing customs and social conduct of a specific society, period, or group.

Etiquette – the rules governing the correct or acceptable behavior of a society.

Courtesy – the showing of politeness in one's attitude and behavior toward others.

Politeness – showing consideration for others. Refined, elegant.

When one travels to other countries, one finds that other cultures (some more than others) find their customs, manners, etiquette, and especially courtesy to be very  important. In America we have seemingly decided, as a culture, that they are unimportant and have lost all sense of what manners, etiquette, and especially courtesy are.  The present generation coming up does not even seem to know that such a thing as courtesy exists, and why should they?  Their parents do not seem to have any manners either, if observation is any clue.  How many times do you have a conversation interrupted with someone because they have to answer a cell phone?  Sometimes you feel as if you were invisible, even though you are the one in their presence.  Do people say "please", "thank you", or "excuse me" anymore?  When was the last time you received a thank-you note for a gift? 

Tea For One - A Ceremony for Yourself

Because most of us do not have the time to spend giving Teas for groups of people, or even a few close friends on a regular basis, I am presenting a Tea For One Ceremony that you can use by yourself to just leave the stress of the day behind.  Feel free to copy this "ceremony" if you find it useful, but I would suggest using it as a guide to create one that meets your own needs.  Whatever you choose to do, relax, enjoy, and leave your cares behind for a few minutes.

One of the most important parts of the ceremony is that you choose an appropriate location.  Before beginning preparations for Tea, you need to find a place that will 1) allow you a chance to relax in solitude and quietness, and 2) appeal to your senses.  To that end I will make some suggestions and you will have to take it from there based on your own location and environment.  For outdoor areas you might sit on a porch or deck, relax by a pool, a grassy riverbank, a secluded park, or a lakeside.  In these cases, if you are going far from your kitchen, you will need to put your tea in a thermos and take your supplies in a picnic basket or some sort of conveyance.  Although it might be a picnic type of tea, you should still have a cloth tablecloth and napkin, and at least a ceramic tea mug.  Paper and plastic will not do. This is a time to pamper yourself, so you want nice things about you.  If you are taking Tea inside, you might sit by a fireplace, in a quiet room or corner, or even have tea in a bubble bath.

The Different Types of Tea Parties

The art of having tea, and it is an art if done properly, is something that is common and understood in places like Great Britain, but here in America we have lost the knowledge of what that means.  One of the things that is completely misunderstood, is the different types of Tea "Parties" that one can have.  Many hotels are now offering what they call "Afternoon Tea" at lunch time, and they offer a full course luncheon menu replete with soup, entrees, etc.  This is not an Afternoon Tea.  It is what I term a "Luncheon Tea", for lack of a better title, as it is really luncheon with tea as the beverage.  Some call what is really an "Afternoon Tea" by the name of "High Tea", which is really a full meal, not a light repast.  To alleviate these common misnomers, I am going to list some commonly known Teas (meaning parties as opposed to the beverage) and what they encompass in the way of food. Naturally tea is the preferred beverage of choice, however a good hostess always offers an alternative beverage such as coffee or hot chocolate, or with iced tea the companion beverage tends to be lemonade. To the established Teas, I have included some new Teas which are making their way into American Tea Rooms or people's homes. These new Teas have no established name, therefore I am giving them my own name for ease of communication.  I will designate the Teas that I have named with asterisks to differentiate them from the well-known types.